StaraptorxBeartic Fanfiction
by PoppingPelipper
Summary: The story of a powerful Staraptor and a black Beartic. A story of love and self discovery.


It was a lovely day in Eterna Forest. I was flying around aimlessly like the dumbass I was. I am a powerful Staraptor. Pokemon don't fuck with me. But one day things went different, my mind had me fucked up. I was confused. Someone actually talked to me without fear. It was a... Ursaring... maybe a black Beartic? Well Ursaring is Beartic but black, yeah! The bear walked over to me and said in a soft tone "I sense a yes." What immediately went to mind was that this bear was mentally retarded. I said "Are you high?" to the bear. She responded "Yes I am not." My mind is hurting now. I responded "Yes or no, which is it?" She quietly mumbled "No..." as if she regretted not being high. "Why are we even talking right now?" I said to her. She looked me in the eyes and called me a powerful Staraptor. She was a fangirl. I let her stroke my glorious feathers. She was amazed. She cooked me some blueberry muffins. I was amazed. I came to the conclusion that I liked her and wanted her to stay with me. "So... where do you live?" I asked. "Nowhere, I'm a hobo." she said. I smiled at said "You can stay with me." Her eyes sparkled at this and she pulled me in for a hug. The hug was very tight. She must be tight. I hugged her back with my wings. "What is your name, bear-like creature?" I asked. She then mumbled "Heather." I smiled, because that is a name I find attractive then said "My name is powerful Staraptor." She giggled for no apparent reason. Did she find my name amusing? I don't care, I just want some blueberry muffins again. While I was thinking about blueberry muffins, she pushed me to the ground and began making out with me. No one had ever done this to me so I enjoyed it very much. Heather stuck her tongue very far down my beak. She was quite arousing. We then had sex. That was very fun. The night came and we were still fucking. Suddenly a Gengar hopped out of the bush and slapped the shit out of her. "Owch!" she squealed. I was enraged, Heather was mine and mine only. I let out a powerful roar and ripped the Gengar apart. There was blood everywhere. Heather giggled and hopped into the pile of blood. Yep, she's definitely retarded. She curled up and fell asleep. She sure is adorable. Her blueberry muffins were adorable too, they looked like Bunearys. I then saw a Wurmple crawling around. What is this dumb worm doing, crawling up to me. The Wurmple approached me and said "Hello good sir, my name is Sir Thomas Reginald III." I was mindfucked, truly mindfucked. I was kinda hungry so I swooped up the Wurmple with my beak and ate it. It was good but it made me have to shit. So I took a shit all over a tree. That tree was a Trevenant. He grabbed my ass and threw me to the ground. It was painful, but I used a powerful Gust and chopped the Trevenant in half. Heather then woke up and pushed me into the pile of blood then started cuddling with me. She was adorable, but most likely insane. Suddenly a beautiful Lopunny walked up. I grew a massive boner at the sight of her. She whispered "Hey sexy, wanna get laid." My answer was obvious but suddenly Heather fatally sunk her claws into the Lopunny's forehead. I watched as the Lopunny fell over and died then looked back at Heather. She simply said "Don't cheat on me, I love you!~" Well, I guess that was my mistake. Part of me wants to bail on this crazy bitch but the other part of me actually likes her. I guess I'll stay, she does make good muffins. She then grabbed a laptop and got on her blog. How does she even have wi-fi in this forest? And how did she even get that thing? I glanced over at her blog and notices that the title was "I am a Beartic but black, yes." I let out a loud "Oh." and she threw a muffin at me. I lost 6 HP. I grabbed a bag of tortillas and started eating the bag because like I said, I am a huge dumbass. She was fapping to something on her blog. Probably some weird erotic porn. A curious Lombre hopped out of the bush. How swift and graceful, to be as fast as a Lombre would be a miracle. He smacked Heather in the face and stole her muffin. I was enraged, how could he do such a thing. I grabbed the dead Lopunny and smashed the shit out of him with her. He was green. I helped Heather up, she was blushing. I asked why she was blushing and she made out with me some more. How refreshing. I took a final bite of the muffin and passed out. It was a blueberry muffin.


End file.
